July 12

Today was my last day in Gisenyi. I spent the morning at the Clinic and the afternoon at the orphanage. I did the usual, taking blood and testing for HIV. Because people had to pay for their new insurance plan before July 1 its been very slow. Usually I do around 40 HIV tests a day, lately I have been doing about 8. People cant pay for their insurance so they don't come to the clinic. Out of curiosity I wanted to know how much insurance cost for a family or single person. For a family its 15,000 frn and for a single its about 5,000. 15,000 frn is the equivalence of 25 USD. Leaving the clinic was terrible, I told myself I wasn't going to cry... i did! I thanked all the nurses and they told me to come back. One of my best friends at the clinic even gave me a picture of himself so "I could always remember". After that tearful goodbye i went up to the orphanage, goodbyes there were even worse. I gave them all hugs and kisses and basically cried the whole time. The kids were even crying, a few asked if they would come home with me. I love them all but saying goodbye to Gushati was one of the saddest things I have ever done. I held him, hugged him, and told him goodbye. As I was leaving he wouldn't let go of me and started crying as well. God it was so hard. Being with these kids for the last 6 weeks has been such a great experience but I'm emotionally drained. I have become so attached, its hard to think about their future wellbeing. I want the best for all of them, but i know they are not in an environment where they can thrive. Life is not fair, why are they in such a crappy situation. As i walked out of the orphanage one last time most of the kids followed me to the gates. They told me they loved me and would never forget me. Walking out was one of the hardest things I have ever done, i cried the whole bus ride home. At this point the crying wasn't over. I had a 6pm bus to Kigali. I now had to leave Amahro and Angel. I bawled like a baby, these two people have been my support since I have been here. Between Kinyarwanda and basically survival they  taught me everything I needed to know about surviving Rwanda. I hope I can see these people very soon, they are amazing and have opened my eyes to Rwanda.  Im going to Kigali for the next few days where I plan to spend some time with the other volunteers. The Last few days I plan to shop, sight see, and visit the Kigali orphanage. Next stop Belgium and then France, but I really do not want to leave Rwanda!