July 14th

Last night I went to Hotel Des Mille Collines. The movie Hotel Rwanda is based off of Des Mille Collines during the genocide. It was a beautiful hotel but a lot of MUZUNGOOS, to many white people! This hotel is where several Rwandans took refuge. The hotel looked nothing like it did in the movie. It was so nice but its hard to believe that 18 years ago people were seeking shelter there, trying to avoid the brutality. The same place I enjoyed a fabulous dinner is where people where literally hiding to avoid death. 

Today I am leaving, I will have a post when I have time to collect my thoughts. Next stop Belgium then France, then back to Belgium. Im probably going to die I'm so sad. 

July 12

Today was my last day in Gisenyi. I spent the morning at the Clinic and the afternoon at the orphanage. I did the usual, taking blood and testing for HIV. Because people had to pay for their new insurance plan before July 1 its been very slow. Usually I do around 40 HIV tests a day, lately I have been doing about 8. People cant pay for their insurance so they don't come to the clinic. Out of curiosity I wanted to know how much insurance cost for a family or single person. For a family its 15,000 frn and for a single its about 5,000. 15,000 frn is the equivalence of 25 USD. Leaving the clinic was terrible, I told myself I wasn't going to cry... i did! I thanked all the nurses and they told me to come back. One of my best friends at the clinic even gave me a picture of himself so "I could always remember". After that tearful goodbye i went up to the orphanage, goodbyes there were even worse. I gave them all hugs and kisses and basically cried the whole time. The kids were even crying, a few asked if they would come home with me. I love them all but saying goodbye to Gushati was one of the saddest things I have ever done. I held him, hugged him, and told him goodbye. As I was leaving he wouldn't let go of me and started crying as well. God it was so hard. Being with these kids for the last 6 weeks has been such a great experience but I'm emotionally drained. I have become so attached, its hard to think about their future wellbeing. I want the best for all of them, but i know they are not in an environment where they can thrive. Life is not fair, why are they in such a crappy situation. As i walked out of the orphanage one last time most of the kids followed me to the gates. They told me they loved me and would never forget me. Walking out was one of the hardest things I have ever done, i cried the whole bus ride home. At this point the crying wasn't over. I had a 6pm bus to Kigali. I now had to leave Amahro and Angel. I bawled like a baby, these two people have been my support since I have been here. Between Kinyarwanda and basically survival they  taught me everything I needed to know about surviving Rwanda. I hope I can see these people very soon, they are amazing and have opened my eyes to Rwanda.  Im going to Kigali for the next few days where I plan to spend some time with the other volunteers. The Last few days I plan to shop, sight see, and visit the Kigali orphanage. Next stop Belgium and then France, but I really do not want to leave Rwanda!

Congo

Crazy things are going on right now between the Congo and Rwanda, very tense. It kinda makes me feel uneasy being so close to the border. All travel between Congo and Rwanda has been suspended and the Rwandan government is allegedly supporting the Rebels in the Congo. Not that i should be anywhere around the border but its my running rout. Yesterday I went on a run and it was very busy. UN trucks, Mercy Corps trucks, UNICEF, and double the amount of soldiers. I have been trying to get to the bottom of this issue but really there are several stories, who knows whats true. I am not taking sides at all, so my statements are purely objective, from what I understand after the genocide several Hutus fled to the Congo, since then Rwanda has invaded the Congo twice, Rwandan government (Tutsi) says its justified because they want to hold the Hutus responsible for their crimes during the genocide. Others speculate Rwanda is after the Congo minerals. On March 23 there was a peace treaty signed about civil rights in the Congo but because the Rebels (allegedly Tutsi Rwandans) didn't agree with lack of civil rights in the Congo they formed their own group called M23 names after the day the treaty was signed. Now the issue is the Rebels (Tutsi) are taking town after town in the Congo after the Hutus and Minerals. President Kagame (Rwandan President) denies the governments involvement. In response President Obama just denounced the Rwandan government and has banned importing minerals from the Congo. Like i said who knows whats going on. I only hope this these issues can be resolved peacefully. The country has supposedly moved past labelling people as Hutus and Tutsi, it worries me that certain groups are being blamed. I really hope the fighting doesn't spill over into Rwanda, i'm worried about my new friends.

Genocide

 I feel most of my posts have been about me and not about the Rwandan people or its history. I feel I have done a terrible job at explaining it, even neglected it, probably purposefully because of its brutality. But it should be addressed because people should know.

People can only see the images on the news so many times before they stop thinking how sad and accept it as reality. I want to remind you that although the Genocide was 18 years ago people are faced with its memories every day. Before I came here all I knew is what I had seen in the movie Hotel Rwanda, but being here for 6 weeks has shown me as an outsider looking in I know nothing, most people know nothing. Since I have been here I have been in search for some understanding, some insight, maybe a moral, or a lesson, or a clue about how to behave in this world. I got here and honestly had no clue how to confront the genocide.  I was told it is “taboo” to talk about. Even if people didn't talk about it directly I have yet to have a conversation of substance where the genocide did not surface or at least quietly, as a point of reference for understanding, or in most cases misunderstanding in humanity. But after being here I now embrace the stories rather than avoid them, because avoiding them makes me more uncomfortable about its existence.

The first day I arrived I met a man in the airport from Rwanda. We had the usual conversation and I explained I was from the U.S. His response was what a great country, so “humane”. I found it funny he  used the word humane to describe a country that still uses capital punishment. Until recently I thought that comment was odd. Rwanda is such a beautiful country with tea plantations, rain forests, volcanoes, and small villages. Not to mention the governments progress since 1994, everything must be ok right? I now have some insight into that comment. I can image how this country might feel empty. People lost everything. People killed neighbors, schoolmates, friends, even family. Hate doesn’t discriminate, no one was left unaffected. The 1994 genocide still leaves it mark, amputees and people with deforming scares walk among the streets, bullet holes remain in houses, and still there are a countless amount of orphans. Your next question as well as mine was why didn’t someone do something, or how could this even happen? Surely people know the difference between right and wrong. If you were Tutsi you were killed, if you were a Hutu that didn’t agree with the killings you were killed. I read at the Kigali memorial the amount of people being killed accumulated at nearly 3 times the rate of Jewish dead during the Holocaust. It was the most effective mass killing since the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. My mind is blow how this happened. Mass killings are surely organized, it doesn’t occur aimlessly. Throughout my stay several people have explained to me it was not just 1994 when all the destruction happened. Apparently this hatred was deeply rooted. People had been brainwashed to except it and accept it. I mean this with sincerity when I ask, in a country dominated by Christianity aren’t we all created equal, aren’t we all gods children? How can we go against our own faith and do this to each other?

Currently the Congo is facing similar issues. It was not been officially declared a genocide but hundreds of people are being killed each day but the rebels. I believe there are over 8 wars going on right now, all over possession of minerals. The same minerals that are used to manufacture our electronics. We are indirectly supporting a genocide and don’t even know it. People are fleeing for their lives and crossing into Rwanda. Ever day I run I see refuges crossing the border. A UNICEF camp is set up within a mile of where I live, and a huge refugee camp housing hundreds of people is within 10 miles of where I live. Once again western countries know this is happening. We know the Congo is a ticking time bomb but because its been bad for so long we accept it as reality. Something needs to be done, someone needs to help countries like the Congo and Rwanda so they can help themselves. Give them the means to thrive so they can stop relying on foreign intervention. Give people the chance to return to their own country and make it strong. Everyday I see refugees and their living conditions. I hope I never forget this experience because it puts my life into perspective. People are being tortured, raped, starved, and killed. I need to reevaluate my problems.

I will admit Rwanda is on the upswing, and compared to most African Countries is doing pretty well. Still there are several things within the government I question. For  the sake of remaining neutral while I am here I will reframe from talking politics.

Although its history is dark hopefully its future will be bright. I don’t now how accurate this really is but I read in the news the Rwandan Government has a goal to turn Rwanda into a middle income country, the project is called vision 2020. It emphases equality, anticorruption, and development etc. Statistics say since implementation life expectancy has increase to 65, poverty has decreased and per capita income has increase to 900 USD. Something also very interesting about Rwanda is as of 2008 45 of 80 seats of parliament are women. Rwanda is the only country in the world whose parliament contains fewer males than females. The mythology behind this is women would never allow the mass killing that occurred during the genocide.  Out of curiosity I looked up the US, we have under 20 percent females representatives.

I will be leaving here very soon, too soon. There is still so much for me to learn, to experience. Honestly I love home and I am so grateful to come from a country where I have choices. But how can I go back to a place where people take so much for granite, where people live within their comfort zones and don’t stop to thin about how others live. I hope I never forget what I have learned here, the value of life and freedom and how precious it is. I will return in the future to work or volunteers, maybe not here but somewhere that is equally as vulnerable. As for right now the Rwandan people should be applauded, considering their size, lack of resources,  and the genocide, these people continue to amaze me with all they have achieved.

July 9th

Friday I left for Kigali, I had plans to go to a music festival called Kigali Up. The ride to Kigali is about  3 hours. It took me about 5, my bus broke down around 10 times and it rear ended another car. Another moment in this trip I could have died, I have basically accepted the fact that I am always in some type of danger regardless what I do. I made it there in one piece and safe. Saturday and Sunday myself and the other volunteers went to the festival. It was pretty cool, I didn’t realize how big of an event this was. It was outside and there was two stages. The music ranged from local artist to well know in Rwanda, and other  countries in Africa. There was even someone there from the U.S. All types of music was represented. I loved it, so much music and A LOT of food! There was even Indian, a year ago I would have turned that down but because I have been only eating African bring it on!  The best thing about being there was watching people dance, I don’t know what it is about black people but they have so much rhythm. They dance effortlessly and look amazing. Loving to dance myself I went up to the front of the stage and danced with them. I was the only white person dancing… hopefully I didn’t look to white!

Probably the coolest thing about going to this festival is I saw the contestants from Guma Guma. Guma Guma is Rwandas version of American Idol. Everyone knows them and watches them each week to see who gets voted off. People went nuts when they performed, I must say J Pauly is my favorite.

Since I have been here I have lost so much weight, basically I feel emaciated. My pants not longer fit and I feel gross. I was really trying to avoid this but I’m always hungry. I weighted myself the other day and I am the lightest I can remember post puberty.  I try to eat as much as I can but the weight has literally fallen off. If I lived here I feel like my body would waist away. No wonder malnutrition is such as issue. I have been thinking no wonder people here have such an issue with malnutrition, I am struggling to stay healthy and I can afford to feed myself, what do they people who have no money? This just makes me realize people in the U.S. have no concept of what its like to be hungry.

The Congo is literally a ticking time bomb. Because I am so close to the border I try to stay informed about what’s going on, purely for safety. People are pretty limited on the information they get here so I get mine through BBC. Every day I see a massive influx of refugees, recently the numbers are increasing. Apparently all tourism has been suspended because of the Rebels.  From what I know the rebels are going through each town trying to gain territory for minerals. People are being killed everyday. They are now moving east, for those who don’t know Rwanda is east of the Congo. They are now e advancing on Goma which is about 1.3 km from where i live. Last week a UN peacekeeper was killed because of the fighting, much more has been happening, all I can say is things are getting a little too crazy here. I will tell you more once I get home safely.

bus stop video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDFMxasAKmg&feature=youtu.be

July 7th

This past week has been ok. The doctor is driving me insane, I'm trying to remind myself its not my fault she lacks people skills. Its a shame, I could really learn a lot from her. The clinic has been pretty slow this past week. From what i understand people had till July 1st to pay their health insurance for the upcoming year. The money is paid lump sum so most people cant afford it right away. 

This week i had 3 people test positive for HIV. A married couple and a married man. The married mans wife tested negative. That was a difficult situation. Since drug use is not very common here I can only assume he is or has been sleeping with someone that is HIV positive. Its a sad situation, what will his wife do? I also delivered four babies this week. Two boys two girls, this now brings my total up to seven babies. I also witnessed my first episiotomy. The thought of it is enough to make me faint but when you are the assistant it is not a time to be weak. As if an episiotomy isn't bad enough the mom had no anaesthetic... Jesus!  I have now officially come to the conclusion I am NEVER having kids, I will never abuse my body like that. I was then given the opportunity to stitch her up, under supervision of course. At that point she received a local anaesthetic but she was still grimacing in pain. On thursday i delivered a 9 pound baby and within minutes turned around and delivered 4 pound baby. The 4 pounder came out so quick i barely had enough time to get a clean pair of gloves on.  

I had another first this week at the clinic. Usually my patients don't speak a word of english, so conversation is very limited. The other day i had a young man sit down for an HIV test and said hello to me. I then asked him if he spoke english, he responded in broken english yes. Excited I asked him his name and how old he was. He told me his name and said he was 23. He then asked me how old I was, I responded 21. You would think the next question would be what are you doing here, or maybe how do you like Rwanda, but no. He then told me he was single and looking for a wife. He then asked me to marry him. I kindly refused, HIV clinics is not where i pick up my men. 

I also have been running a lot here. Hopefully the higher altitude helps me when I get home. For some reason people are still shocked to see me run. They cheer, wave and run with me. I had a man run about a mile with me the other day. I kinda like having a running partner. Im going to miss the support once i get home.


Since I have been gone i have gotten several messages from friends and family about how amazing my experiences are and how proud they are of me. Thank you for everything, and thank you for reading, it really means a lot to me. People reading this should all know that you have shaped who I am and what I am interested in. I got a facebook message from an high school bio teacher saying "Bre...I am so incredibly proud of what you are doing. I just finished reading your last several posts (blog) and I had tears in my eyes as you described some of the situations, and was laughing out loud at others. The experiences you are gaining there are worth infinitely more than any money you could earn. As for the six toes and six fingers....it is probably due to polydactyly, an autosomal dominant inheritance. Again, I am SOOOOOOO proud of what you are doing. You are influencing and most likely changing lives, and that is truly something very special :)". This means so much to me, but little does she know she is one of the reasons I am here, Ericsson also played a big part. They are the two teachers that opened my eyes to science, they are the reason I became so interested in biology and they are the reason I chose nursing in college. Among several they are one of the reasons I am in Africa prefecting my nursing skills. 

 

July 4th pic DONATED ITEMS

July 4th

July 3, 2012

Finally some of the packages arrived. It’s been a nightmare trying to get them. Apparently some people don’t know how to do their job. The package was sent a little over 2 weeks ago. They arrived last Thursday with conformation. I had spoken indirectly with Claire through Angel about the packages. Since today (July 3^rd) Claire has denied they were here. Finally I called her Monday basically saying I know they have arrived and I don’t understand why you keep denying it. I told her if the issue was transporting the packages I would go down to Kigali myself and pick them up. She began to get frustrated with me and I basically laid it out very clear for her, if I don’t hear from you by tomorrow (July 3rd) about the status of my packages I will call your boss in New Zealand and clearly explain to her that you are keeping my packages hostage. I then nicely reminded her volunteers like me pay her salary. I don’t like to get that direct with people but it worked, today I have 2 of my boxes and the other 3 will be here Monday!!!! It didn’t need to be that hard! Seriously this is why people are so hesitant to donate.

Tonight I opened the first two boxes and I am sooooo soooo soooo excited!!!! Thank you all so much! I know a lot of the stuff in one box is from Holly, so shout out! I recognized a lot of the clothes. Tomorrow I will start to bring the toys, books, clothes, bottles, diapers and more more more to the orphanage.  I can’t explain how thankful I am. Your donated items are going to make such a difference, now these kids will have shoes to wear and toys to play with. This is seriously one of the highs of my trip, although I am realistic and realize this is not enough for 600 kids, it’s a start. One of my favorite quotes is by Mahatma Gandhi “you must be the change you wish to see in the world”. Imagine if everyone donated a little something each year, think of how we could transform the world together.  Once again thank you all, and thank you Dad and Patti.  I love you.

New volunteers came today. Ugggg first impressions are so powerful. I have no clue how I’m going to survive the next two weeks with these people. One is a dentist and her son, both seem very nice but she is in her late 40’s and he is 16.They are from the UK. The other is a gynecologist who is in her 50’s from New Zealand. I have always hated doctors and I have come to the conclusion I always will. I don’t know what it is about gynecologist but they always have a chip on their shoulder. From the second I met this lady she made it known she was a Doctor and studied so long at this school and blah blah blah. I honestly wanted to tell her I don’t give two shits about her or her studies. I know she deserves respect but when I met her I was in middle of running HIV tests. I have been here for 5 weeks now and I have great relationships with the staff and a very good routine. This lady came in the lab and took my microscope and started messing around with my samples, RUDE! Then she started talking about Viral load and CD4 counts and asked if they do it here. I responded we don’t have that capability, in disgust she responded I don’t believe that and asked Angel the same question. First of all Angel doesn’t even know what a viral load is, she truly believes you can cure HIV by praying to god. Please don’t come in my lab acting like I am ignorant and can’t answer your medical questions. If I say they don’t do viral load I’m not lying to you… idiot! Anyway I will try to be nice but she is making it very hard. I HATE when doctor or people for that matter act like they are superior. I would just like to remind her it’s not doctors who spend time with patients its nurses. On a happier note one of the nurses told me she did not like this lady because she is rude. Good thing I understand some Kinyarwanda because she said it right in front of her face.

July 4^th

Happy Liberation day Rwanda. Today was an amazing day, I brought some of the donated items to the orphanage. The kids went nuts! I will post pictures so you can see your donated items with the children. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who donated. I gave the children the toys, and the mommas the diapers, wipes, bottles, cups, etc. I should have gone through the director but I have noticed unless the items are given directly to the mommas they are not used, which once again is soooo frustrating. I literally almost cried today when the babies were drinking out of bottles and the toddlers were using sippy cups. The mommas looked at me a little strange when I handed them the new cloth diapers, but overall the donations were well received. The babies even had dolls to cuddle, it was so amazing to see them smile when the mommas handed them a doll. The older kids love the Jacks, jump ropes, books, and dolls. Unfortunately they love them so much I had to scold several of them for trying to steal the new books out of the library.  I didn’t realize how much was donated; I still have several trips to make to bring all the stuff to the orphanage. Once again thank you, I wish you could have seen how happy the mommas and kids were.

July 2nd

July 2, 2012

I forgot to write a few things in my last post. The show down between Machoville and I continue. We were doing so good, starting to bond, but the stupid chicken woke me up AGAIN early on Sunday. Ready to kill her I marched into the kitchen to find a bowl of eggs. I asked Amahro, in Kinyarwanda mind you, if these were Machoville’s. He responded yes and they were for breakfast. They were delicious, but I felt kind of bad as if I was eating Machoville. Watch I go to India become a vegetarian, now I go to Rwanda and become a vegan. Just kidding, they were too good, I guess the bird will live to see another day, she is providing me with my only source of protein.

Also this past Saturday I went up to the orphanage. I LOVE LOVE LOVE these kids. My little man and I spent some time together; I’m getting kind of worried that when I leave he will be devastated. I might need to lay off spending time with him, I don’t want him to get too attached, he already cries when I leave for the day.  Anyway, after few hours at the orphanage I caught a bus back to town. Once again it was packed above maximum capacity. Sitting on Rwandans lap and next to a mom breast feeding, her nipple was closer to my mouth than her babies… ahh making great memories! To make the bus ride even more interesting I had to get out so I could let the guy I was sitting on out, as I got out of the bus a small child, about 5 projectiles vomits out of the bus onto my pants and down my leg. It was so hectic I didn’t really notice until I felt warm goo running down my leg…. Ahhh more memories! Everyone laughed including the other volunteers, they then said Bre you are a nurse you shouldn’t be grossed out. Stupid, just because I want to be a nurse doesn’t mean I don’t think vomit is gross, and it certainly doesn’t mean I enjoy being puked on. Pretty disgusting, but I will admit it was quite hilarious.

It’s now the first of the month, this means we get new volunteers, unfortunately all the ones my age are in Kigali.  I met two new volunteers this weekend, both from Australia. The guy even plays Rugby; needless to say we were instant friends. All of the people that volunteer are from Australia, Canada, UK, and U.S. Lately we have had a lot of people from Australia and the UK. It’s funny because they always comment on my accent, but to me they are the ones who have the accent. They say my accent is harsh, I pronounce my vowels weird, and I have a drawl. Obviously they don’t understand a proper drawl, Patti prides herself on the fact she can make swimming a three syllable word. I will admit, sometimes it slips but there is one other American from Louisiana, he has more of the twang than I do. I guess since I have lived all over the U.S. I don’t have one particular accent, I don’t discriminate, I try embody every region with the way I speak.   

July 2nd pic

July 1st

July 1, 2012

Friday I spent my time at the clinic. Usually Friday is slow but we had an abnormally large amount of people getting tested for HIV and safe sex talks. In addition we had about 15 children get tested as well. Usually I work with adults, until Friday I had only performed one HIV test on a child. I asked Angel why they were all here, basically no help she told me it was because all their parents have HIV. Now worried to death, I was convinced I would have 15 positive HIV tests for the kids. Angel is awesome, but a terrible translator, and half the time she has no clue what she is talking about. Also her beliefs often interfere with what happens at the clinic. The reason the kids were getting tested in because they were all on the same soccer team and needed to be tested for travel. Thanks Angel.

I also had a first on Friday, I had an unmarried couple come in to get tested and get condoms for pregnancy prevention. I was startled because condom use is usually stressed for HIV prevention not pregnancy prevention. They both came back negative.  So happy to see people practicing safe sex I gladly handed them condoms. I don’t know if premarital sex is frowned upon here but this profession is not place to judge anyone. Unfortunately some of the nurses and Angel make their beliefs known in the clinic. I personally feel regardless if married or not safe sex should be supported, it’s better than people running around with unwanted babies and HIV.

I also feel like I have become the safe sex birth control guru. I always always always encourage people to have safe sex and be monogamous with their partner. People at the clinic seem to think I am a know it all when it comes to birth control. Believe me, I don’t know everything but I know a lot more than most the nurses. It’s actually quite frustrating. For example I have had a few pregnant women come in pissed because their birth control “doesn’t work”. They use the pill, first question I ask, do you take it regularly? Then they respond yes I take it every time I have sex. Well duh the pill doesn’t work, you need to take it every day not just when you have sex. The people come in pissed but really it’s result of lack of education, they don’t understand how to properly take the pill. This is so aggravating.  

This weekend the other volunteers came down from Kigali. Going to the largest bat colony in Gisenyi fell through so we ended up going to Paradise Hotel on Saturday. The last Saturday of every month public transportation doesn’t run, it is law that every Rwandan from 8am to 12pm participates in a service project. Basically the last Saturday of every month is dedicated to Rwandans cleaning up trash, and repairing roads. We had no clue that it was this Saturday so we decided to walk to Paradise.  On the way there a UN truck passed us and I waved. They ended up stopping and it was the same peacekeepers I had met at the border. The offered to give us a ride to Paradise, why not. Like a badass we all road in the UN truck. My life is epic. Once there we invited them to have a drink  with us but they said they had to get back to the Congo. Paradise was amazing, it had great food and a private beach, literally a place to go on a honeymoon. 

Gushati

June 28th

June 26, 2012

Kinyarwanda lessons have been going great. An amazing thing happened to me the other day. I was walking to the clinic, like usual children were screaming at me. For the first time since I have been here I actually understood what they were saying. They were screaming “white person how are you, can we have your plastic water bottle?”  Or course I didn’t understand it right away but I knew I recognized all the words, finally I figured out what they were saying. This was a big moment for me.

Lessons with Amaharo are continuing. He is really a great guy. Every day I learn a little more about him, sometimes more than I want to know. He continues to talk about the genocide. I have now come to find out he was 15 years old when his father was killed. To revenge his father’s death, at 15 he went out with a gun to find his father’s killers. As a result he ended up being shot several times in leg.  I don’t know what happened after that but I can’t even imagine what it was like.  I know I have said this several times but this country continues to amazing me with its ability to rise from its past to make a new future. I have asked several people how they are able to just move on, I don’t understand how you can live with neighbors knowing they have killed your family. People always respond about the same way, they say “it affected every single Rwandan, if we don’t move on together, then we will all die slowly.” Well put.  

Although Prime Minister Kagame has several critics, I can say a very positive thing he has done for Rwanda is how he focuses on the building a bright future. EVERYWHERE in Rwanda there are signs that say “Remember our past to build a bright future, maybe that’s why their mentality is so universal.

June 27^th

One of the orphans was hit by a car on Monday. Ugg. She broke her clavicle and has a concussion. I went to go see her at the Gisyni hospital to make sure she was being treated as a serious patient, not an orphan. She is doing a lot better but because of the language barrier I’m still trying to understand what’s going on. Keep her in your thoughts please.

On a happier note I have a funny story from last weekend. So unless you are going to the bar or out to dinner there is not a lot to do around Kigali or Gisyeni during the evenings. So one night Julien and Manjo played a very intense game of chess.  This wasn’t a normal game of chess, there were bets at stake. If Julien won Manjo would have to meditate at the busiest bus station in Kigali for 5 minutes in mid-day, and if Manjo won Julien would have to do pushup in the middle on the bus station. Bets placed and both sides wanting to win Manjo was the victor. The next day when it was the busiest (easily over 300 people waiting for several busses) Julien walked to the center of the bus station and starting doing pushups. As if people staring weren’t funny enough, a man came up next to him and starting doing pushups along with Julien. Not about to be shown up by some American the man was screaming “oya” (no) at Julien and starting doing one handed pushups. The other volunteers and I were dying. Probably the best thing I have seen since I have been here. I will try to post the video soon.

June 28^th

Yesterday I spent my time at the clinic, no babies, but there was a little bit of excitement in maternity. Angel was not there so I don’t understand completely what had happened, but from what I understand the mother was having difficulty with her labor, something my clinic was not prepared for. The nurse called an ambulance so they could take the mom to Gisneyi hospital. Gisneyi hospital is about 10-15 miles away from my clinic; response time for the ambulance was 2 hours, I could have probably walked faster. I don’t know what ended up happening, but, I do know I would never want to get seriously ill here.  

The remaindered of the day I took blood for the HIV tests and then went to the lab and performed each HIV test. Usually I don’t spend much time in the lab, but I think it’s pretty cool I am now able to take blood from my patients, run the HIV test myself, and then tell them in they are positive or negative, I’m like a one man show.

I feel as if I have not been spending as much time as the orphanage as I wish I could, so, this past week I have gone just about every day. Yesterday I opened up the library so I could have an arts and craft day. I was hesitant at first because it’s hard to keep on track of all the children when it’s only one person. They all fight for your attention, beat each other, and often steal books and pencils out of the library. I decided to do it anyway because if a volunteer doesn’t open up the library no one does. I decided to take on the task of water painting. I thought it was going to be a disaster, how could I possibly paint with children who beat each other with sticks. To my surprise once I got the paint out it there was a total transformation in their behavior. So engrossed in their art they didn’t even notice each other. They LOVED it, and all of them loved showing off their paintings. They were all very eager to show me their pictures, I told them they were beautiful, they all smiled at my approval. I have a feeling this is the first time most of them have ever used a paint set. Because they can’t keep their pictures and I can’t come home with them all, I decided to hang them up around the library.  Who knew art would be such a great outlet for these kids.

Today I didn’t go to the clinic I decided to spend my day at the orphanage. After yesterday I was really inspired to do more art. Today I opened the library and they did several paintings and drawings. They love it and love art as well, so it works. When I first started at the orphanage I didn’t think they had art supplies or books, since I have been here I have come to find out there is a locked room that has everything you could possibly think of.  The issue is no one takes the time to unlock the door and organize a time for the children to use this stuff, depressing! My question is what good is this stuff if it’s not used, someone needs to take the initiative and open up the library.  

Today I also spent time in the orphanage clinic. I have taken on a project now in light of some recent things I have seen with the children’s health. Several of the kids have ringworm, scabies, HIV, and the list goes on. The other day a little girl had this horrific rash on her neck that was so irritated it was bleeding. I told the mamas that this child needs to see a nurse and do something about this. Not fazed by my comment I made it very clear that this kid needs to see a nurse now!  I took her over the clinic where I handed her over to one of the nurses; the nurse looked at me and basically said what do you want me to do about this. Infuriated I thought you tell me, you are the nurse? What the issue was is the nurse didn’t know what the rash was or what to put on it. I ended up going through the medication and found some cream. Her rash looks a million times better, but, because of this incident I am going to go through the clinic and label every medication and its purpose, this way hopefully there is no excuse as to why these kids are not treated properly. Today was day one of this adventure.

As the days go by I am seriously getting attached to these children. I know I need to come back here and try to do something more meaningful for them. The Point Foundation is really involved in this particular orphanage and is constantly employing people to come here to make sure their money is being spent the way it was intended. I know they are looking to employee someone to live here for the next several months. Bad timing now, but, after school you never know. I have several great contacts and I love these kids. I am trying to feel out how Matt’s sponsorship goes, that is also an option for the future.

Like I said I am getting attached to all of them, but I know there are a few I’m going to cry with once I leave. Carmen a 10 month old girl, Justin a 14 year old boy, Wemana a 11 year old girl(HIV Positive), and Gushati a 3 year old boy. Gushati I might take in my bag with me, you think I’m kidding but I’m not. If international adoption was allowed I would try to make Gashati mine next year. Gashati is so sweet, so cute, and he has 6 toes… certainly special. I hug him, carry him around, and play with him. Today when I left he cried. Ahhh I’m not wishing my life away but I do wish I was in the right financial and emotional place in my life to adopt him, anyone want a 3 year old boy?

June 26th pic

June 26th

June 20th

English and Kinyarwanda lessons are going amazing. I was afraid I was going to be lonely here without the other volunteers, even though there are so many people around I couldn’t (still really can’t) communicate with any of them.  Amahro is much better at English than I am at Kinyarwanda, but, he is in no way fluent. In a way its total submersion. I wish I would have done this sooner; it’s amazing what you can learn about someone when you try to connect with them by speaking their language. Up until recently all I knew about Amaharo was he worked for FVA, and had a pet chicken (who I’m still plotting against). Through these lessons my vocabulary has become more extensive and Amaharo has begun to really open up. I have learned Amaharo is 33 years old, comes from a local village in Gisnysi, he has two brothers and two sisters.  One day he was teaching me how to ask about someone’s family. Practicing, I asked him about his family. Through this lesson he told me he lived in Gisnysi during the genocide (btw its really taboo to talk about that here), he told me Gisnysi was one of the worst places in Rwanda during the genocide, finally he then told me his father fled Rwanda in 1994 and went to the DRC. Not having the vocabulary to push the topic and not really sure what is ok to discuss I didn’t ask any questions. He then continued and told me “they” burned his house, stole his cows, and beat his mother. Next he told me his dad was dead. Still not forcing the subject he told me when his father came back to Rwanda in 1996, the genocide was over but the people who had fled where hunted and killed. Wow, that was a really heavy Language class, what do you say to someone when they tell you that? It’s really taboo go discuss the genocide, but Amaharo seemed like he wanted to. For now I have decided to never bring up the topic, just be willing to listen.

June 21

Thursday was another busy day. I tried to find out some more information about sponsoring children for Matt, and I delivered another baby, this time a boy weighting in at 3kg. This makes it three deliveries now. Each one seems to be getting a little more complicated. This time the mom was in a lot of pain and it took forever to get the baby out… several pushes. Also the baby was born with six figures. Surprisingly I have seen this several times here. I have no clue why, the only thing I can really think of is people tend to marry within their village, so maybe small gene pool if they keep reproducing with each other, just speculation. 

Later that day I finally learned how to test someone blood for HIV. I understood the clinical side of how to take blood but I never understood how it was actually tested. Even though I don’t really enjoy lab work I’m really excited I got the opportunity to learn what they do with the blood once I take it.   There is a lot that goes into diagnosing someone with HIV, and to be the best nurse I feel I should understand all of it. It’s pretty similar to a Ph test. All you need is a drop of blood on the provided strip. One line means negative, two lines mean positive.

Also with my growing Kinyarwanda vocabulary I have noticed the nurse at the clinic seem to like me a lot more.  Still I have no clue what they are saying but I have noticed they are trying to learn a little English. Angel told me they think since I am trying to learn Kinyarwanda they feel they should learn English. You never know, I might try to teach them some English when I have some free time.

June 21 night

Oh my god, I seriously love Angel. I might have met my match when it comes to being blunt. She has no filter when it comes to her body language or the words coming out of her mouth. I love it when people tell you what they are thinking and she does exactly that, she called me deaf the other day because I don’t speak her language. I will show her, I am determined to learn. Today she also commented on my skin and hair. She asked me why my hair was “black” at the top and “white” and the bottom. I had to explain to her it’s because I highlighted it, and, it has grown out. She told me she liked it a lot, but she still didn’t understand why my hair is so dark like hers. She then asked about my skin, she told me it’s not white like the other volunteers. I had to explain to her my mother has darker skin. She then asked me if my mother was black, I guess she put the dark hair and dark skin together and assumed I was biracial. I laughed so hard when she said this; I asked her why in the world she would think that. Angel responded because “you are brown”. She then told me my skin is very pretty. Ha ha, I guess I no longer fit in, I’m not white like the volunteers, and I’m not black like the locals.

June 22

Took several peoples blood today. It’s great but life is getting redundant. Today we had one person test positive, seriously this is the WORST part of working at the clinic. I hate telling people they have HIV. Every day I walk into clinical, look at the faces staring at me and I wonder which person will I be telling within the next few hours about their positive HIV results.  Today it was a lady 25 years old, I honestly have no clue how she got it, but with young unmarried women I’m always fearful it’s result of sexual violence or prostitution. She was devastated and so was I.

On a positive note I finally discovered the clinic does give out free condoms. I also discovered at the nicer supermarkets you can find condoms as well, I still have not been able to find them at supermarkets in poorer areas. At least condoms are available if you look for them.

June 25, 2012

My weekend was amazing! Thursday night I took a bus to Kigali. This was the first time I have traveled by myself for a long distance. I am actually impressed with myself, I was able to find the right bus to Kigali, get their safely, and once there flag down a motor bike, negotiate the price, and then direct my driver to the guest house. I know it doesn’t sound that hard but try the added element of being alone, not speaking the same language and my lack of direction. Once I got there the other volunteers were waiting for me to go out to the club. We ended up going to one of the biggest clubs in town, Thursday nights are Raga night here. It would have been pretty fun if the power didn’t go out within ten minutes of getting there. No generator for back up, the club was completely dark. Rolling with it we decided to leave and bar hop around Kigali. We even found a karaoke bar… my favorite, too bad it was full of a bunch of Beyonces, no way am I getting up there to sing now! Regardless I had a blast.

The next morning Charlotte and I tried to get up early to plan our weekend, that failed terribly. For the last week we had been talking about going to Nyungwe National Park. We made reservations with a hotel but we still didn’t have way to get there. Not too keen on renting a car (bc of my last experience) and having no idea if a bus would take us that far finally we decided maybe we should go into town to find the bus schedule. We found a bus and it would be leaving in a few hours, even better they said they would drop us off at the hotel. Later that day four of us pack up and took a five hour bus ride to Nyugwe National Park. It was a beautiful drive through southern Rwandan, complete Rainforest. Once again I saw a huge refugee camp, I honestly had no idea they sent refugees that south. Because it was such a long bus ride we ended up driving in the dark. Looking out the window I was able to see the stars for the first time and they were BEAUTIFUL.  Then our bus came to a halt, middle of the Rainforest, in the pitch black, our driver said we were here and open the door. Confused I asked are you sure this is the hotel, he said yes so we all got off. Pitch black and no idea where we were, we walked down an unpaved road into the forest. Once again freaked out, I went over every possible scenario of how I could die. We kept walking until we found someone at end of the road. It was the security man from the hotel… thank god. Apparently the power had gone out so that describes the total darkness. He directed us toward our rooms and then the power came back. Once I could see, I realized I was at a very quaint hotel in the middle of the rainforest, INCREDIBLE!!!! It even had running warm water. So excited I hopped in the shower, lathered my body and hair with soap, and when I was about to be clean for the first time in 4 weeks the water turned off. Pissed I looked up at the drain and the knobs thinking I had somehow turned it off. Nope, I guess the water just shuts off whenever it wants to. Next came the string of four letter words, I tried to rinse my hair with a water bottle, but, I ended up sleeping with soap in my hair.

The next morning we all got up and found our way to the Rangers station. There we decided we would do the Canopy tour and the Waterfall hike. First the Canopy tour (this time we decided in favor of a guide).  The Canopy Tour was a 2 hour vigorous hike into the heart of the Rainforest. Good thing I’m somewhat is shape because if not I would have died. Straight up and down, over rocks, in the mud, through the forest we made it to the 2km long canopy suspended 100 meters above the forest floor. If you are afraid of heights this is defiantly not for you. We were at the top of the trees looking down on all the vegetation and wildlife, stunning. All you could see for miles was green forest, talk about in the middle of nowhere. Walking back across the canopy my guide pointed out there was a viper hanging on a limb above my head… Screw that, I ran across that canopy so fast.

After the canopy and the near death experience with the viper we headed for the Waterfall. The waterfall hike was 5 hours. Not as vigorous but a difficult hike. You really got to be an outdoors person to enjoy Rwanda to its fullest. We continued to hike deeper into the rainforest until finally we arrived. Seriously the waterfall looked like a scene out of Tarzan or King Kong, absolutely perfect. As we got closer you could feel the mist from the waterfall. Our now 5 hour hike was worth it. I tried to take it all in but the beauty was almost surreal. I looked up and all that I could see was trees, trees, and more trees.  After enjoying the waterfall we now had a 3 hour hike back to the ranger station. As we stared back it began to thunder, it looked as if any minute it would rain. I thought it was cool, we would be able to experience the rain in the rainforest. My friends didn’t think the same, oh well it’s not my fault they didn’t bring a raincoat.  The rain held up until about the last hour of the hike. We made it back safe and just in time for dinner. This trip was going off flawlessly.

That night charlotte and Julian stole the first shower from me. It was freezing cold, ha ha serves them right. That night, right before bed I turned on the shower in hopes that by some chance warm water would come out. To my surprise it was more than warm, it was burning HOT!!! Sooooooooo excited I took my first hot shower since I have been here. The pressure sucked but still it was hot! So happy I bragged to Julian, charlotte, and Gabby about my amazing shower. They told me F off… ha ha, sucks to suck.

June 19th

June 18, 2012

It’s so weird now that Jane and I are the only volunteers in the house. Angel and Amahoro are around but Angel is more of a coordinator and Amahoro doesn’t speak much English. Even though Amahoro’s English is not so great I still really like him. He is always there to let me in the house, cook my meals, and do my laundry. I tried to help him with the dishes once but he would not let me, I know he is paid but I really appreciate it. Although I love him to death there are a few things I could go without, first he could let me do the dishes once in a while, second I wish we could find a better place to hang my drying clothes, I come home and I see my underwear hanging across the bushes, and third his pet chicken Machovilie. The stupid bird starts squawking every morning precisely at 4am. Half joking I told him I was going to kill it if it didn’t shut up. He must have thought I was asking where she was because he replied she was sleeping. As if one chicken isn’t bad enough Machovilie now has a boyfriend, I have no clue where this rooster came from but it’s now following Machovilie around the yard. Amahoro is really eager to learn English so I think while I am here I’m going to try to help him out, in return I want to learn a little more Kinyarwanda, I’m actually amazed with how much I’m able to pick up, imagine if I actually tried.

Today I spent my day at the clinic. No babies… I’m dying to get another delivery. Even though there were not any deliveries I actually had a really busy day. Several people came in for prenatal exams and several for HIV testing. Today we performed 30 HIV tests, all came back negative, and I would say that was a successful day. One of the coolest things about working at the clinic is the teaching I get to do. Not that I’m and expert on HIV but you would be surprised how little some people know. I usually discuss what HIV is, how you get it, and ways to avoid getting it. Doing the teaching is actually pretty fulfilling, hopefully these patients will be able to carry this information into the future and avoid contracting HIV or even educate others on HIV prevention. The government also seems to be taking an active role on HIV prevention. You can’t walk down the street without seeing signs about safe sex and using condoms. Although the government is strongly encouraging safe sex I do wonder if this is really put into practice since a majority of the country is Catholic. From what I understand traditional Catholics don’t seem so keen on birth control, including condoms. I wonder if their religious morals influence whether or not they are willing use condoms in a country stricken with HIV? Next time I go to the supermarket I am going to see if people even have access, how easy is it to be safe here? The government certainly supports it, but do the peoples moral interfere with the willingness to provide.

June 19, 2012

Today was another busy day. Since I have been here I have only had 4 patients come back positive for HIV, today I had 11. This is so emotionally draining because it shows what an epidemic HIV is in Africa. I don’t know each individuals story but I know some of them probably couldn't help contracting it. Today I also took blood from my first child. He was two and being tested for HIV. Like any child he was not happy about the needle but I got him on the first stick. I was really happy because he had such tiny veins and I know he wouldn’t let me stick him more than once. Thankfully he came back negative but still the situation was heart wrenching.  

I also delivered another baby today, this time it was a little girl weighting in at 3.5kg. She was healthy but the delivery was a lot more dramatic than the other one. The mom was crying (rightfully so), her mother was in the room pacing saying prayers, and it took a lot longer. But still the mother did great and the baby came out healthy. During the delivery I felt the Mother’s crying was justify, I imagine it’s extremely painful, but I guess one of the nurses didn’t think so, she came in the room right in mid push and slapped her across the legs. She proceeded out of the room but not before she screamed at her. I guess in America you are trained to be a little more sensitive than that.

This time I spent a lot more time with the baby after the birth. It took several minutes for the mother to deliver the placenta so I spent my time with the baby tying its cord, cleaning her up, and checking her lung sounds. When I left for the day baby and mom where doing great.

Noel Orphanage video

Donations are still being collected. Watch this video and see the children you will be helping.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40qNtBSU-GI&feature=youtu.be

June 17th pic

June 17th

The last few days have been pretty much the same. No more babies though. My days are as follows, 9am till 2pm at the clinic, then I go over the orphanage for a couple hours to hang out with the kiddos. I have perfected taking blood, the last few days I have managed to get every patient on the first stick, this is a success! No vein scares me now! Because HIV is so prevalent in Africa every patient that comes in gets a blood test, meaning a lot of practice for me. Since I have been here I have not had one patient test positive for HIV, until Wednesday. Wednesday we had 4 people test positive for HIV. Two couples, both women were pregnant. In the U.S. HIV is such a tragic and life changing thing, therefor I expected both couples to be devastated. The reaction couldn’t have been more opposite, It might have been the language barrier but neither reacted the way I had expected. I still don’t understand, were they calm because it’s expected/accepted to have HIV in Africa or do they not understand the negative consequences of living with HIV.

Thursday I performed my first pelvic exam. A lady came in 7 months pregnant thinking she was in labor. Thankfully she wasn’t because that could have ended badly. It’s very common for preterm babies to die here. Turns out she was not dilated and was ok to go. If she had been 9 months pregnant though I would have been ready! I can’t wait for my next baby.

I have also perfected all types of public transportation. This includes bus, taxi, and motor bike (Kiana I know you would be proud, imagine me on the back of a bike).  I can even flag my own bus and I know when people are trying to rip me off, I’m practically a local, just kidding.  I did make a lethal mistake the other day though. The busses here are more like 12 seater vans that cram as many people in as they can. One time we had 26 heart beats, 21 adults, 4 babies and one chicken.  Anyway back to my mistake, there is a drive and one person who sits in the back whose job is to collect money, open the door when it stops, and hang his head out the window screaming at people if they want to get on.  So he is the one who opens and closes the door, no one else. Well I thought people wanted to get on. I tried to open the door to let them on but his head was hanging out the van window so I practically decapitated him against the sliding van door, ops. I felt like a complete idiot. It’s ok though because I know I ask for it while I’m in the bus. I also did another stupid thing the other day while I was on the bus. Constantly people are screaming from the street or moving vehicles “mazungoo” when they see me. On my way to the clinic I was riding the bus and we had stop, when we stop I saw one of my friends on the street. Not thinking whose company I was in, surrounded by all Africans I pointed, and screamed mazungoo out the window at her. I thought she would see me and think it was funny, instead everyone on the bus thought I was insane, they were probably thinking why is this mazungoo screaming mazungoo at the other mazugoo. They eventually all laughed.

Anyway till next time, but before I leave I just wanted to tell everyone that has donated so far THANK YOU, even the littlest things go so far here. I have a video that I will be posting soon on my facebook and blog of the children you are helping. Also, if you still want to donate I will be here till the end of July, so please do!!! You can send anything you want to my family at 11155 Pond Fountain Ct New Market MD 21774. Just give them a call at 301 882 7195. Also the organization is GVN, it’s a volunteer network so ever donation is a tax deductible, if you have more question about that call my parents, they are the tax people.

June 16, 2012

Friday Matt and Nicholes left and I was so sad to see them leave! They were so much fun. Watching them leave was probably one of the most emotional days I have had since I have been here. They were only here two weeks but they became so attached to the children, and the children became very attached to them. Matt become so attached that he actually looked into adoption. Interesting things are happening in Rwanda right now in terms of adoption and orphanages, internationals adoption is banned. Only Rwandans can adopt Rwandan children, and the president has a plan to close all orphanages by the year 2014. Since the genocide Rwandans have taken much pride in their country and really make it a point to bring back/keep Rwandans in their own country. The idea is together they will stay and make Rwanda strong.  Needless to say there is no way Matt could adopt, but there is a loophole. Matt obviously really attached and wanting to make a difference in these children’s lives decided to sponsor them. With the help of Angel, the orphanage, and a boarding school, Lillian and Emanuel are going to be sent to boarding school where they can get a proper education, be fed, and looked after until they graduate secondary school. The cost to send both children to school for one year is about two thousand U.S. dollars, amazing right. Matt is giving these two children a chance to be something more than just a product of an orphanage. After he worked out the logistics with the orphanage is when he told the children. Watching Matt tell Emanuel and Lillian was one of the most moving things I have every experienced, even better than delivering the baby. Even though these children are eleven and sixteen they realized what an amazing opportunity they were just given and cried, I have to admit I cried too. So happy they thanked Matt, then Matt told them the only thing they need to do to repay him is when they grow up they need to help children just like them, at this point I was bawling. Will this message stay with these children… hopefully, this situation kind of reminds me of the movie Pay it Forward. What a great methodology to live your life by. These two lucky children now have a chance.  

June 17, 2012

Because Matt and Nicholes left it’s just Jane and I now, since Miriam decided to go home. Hopefully I can stay busy during the week till I see the other volunteers on weekends. I know with everyone gone I’m going to be itching for the weekends. This past weekend was great; three volunteers came down to Gysini to visit me. Together we went to three of the local bars. My favorite was Bikini Tam Tam, Bikini Tam Tam is right on the beach, its so beautiful you almost forget about all the pollution. The bar is right on the water, and there are several tables and benches in the sand. Saturday we sat on the beach all day until we decided to find another bar at night… it was so much fun, finally social volunteers that are my age, too bad they are in Kigial during the week.   

Sunday we went to the border out of curiosity. We asked several people what it would take to cross the border of Rwanda to the DRC.  No one could give us a straight answer; I don’t even think they know. Several people have told us the DRC makes it pretty expensive for people to enter the country since they lack tourism, I guess you need to make your money somewhere. Most people are trying to get out of the DRC not go into it. There at the border we met several UN officials from Uruguay so we went up to ask them about it. They didn’t speak English but they spoke Spanish, for the first since I have been here I actually felt like I could communicate with someone. Although my Spanish sucks we were able to figure out the cost to get into the DRC. Half English half Spanish I was able to have a conversation with them about getting across the border, the cost and the DRC’s problems. That was really interesting to talk to the UN officials, it puts it into perspective where you are and your relation to other countries. As we were exploring we saw several refugees crossing the border of the Congo getting into refugee trucks to be taken to the refugee camp down the street from where I am living.  I would have taken a picture because it was quite interesting but I thought it would be a little insensitive.

The remained of the day Charlotte and I went to the market and then got our nails done, hard life! In the morning we watch the refugees escaping from the Congo and in the afternoon we get out nails done. To get a French manicure it cost 1500 frans, 2.5 US dollars. I’m looking pretty grimy so it was much needed.

Also since I have been feeling better I have been trying to get in touch with my inner Rwandan, so I started running. Angel always tells me I look smart before I go on run, which I find so funny. Running is in no way a hobby for people here, in fact they have no idea why I run. I guess when you walk half a day to get bananas I wouldn’t be able to justify it either. People find it so amusing that they will take pictures of me, run with me, or cheer me on while I run down the street. Gotta love Africa.